Danni's guide to annoy Vlad
by thebestAUTHOR
Summary: I'm sure we all know how fun it is to torture Vlad, but we've never senn Danni do it. From reading his diary aloud and posting it on youtube to revealing his secret to the world, it can only mean 1 thing. Danni with an I is back, and she's got it in for .
1. Chapter 1

My new story ideas

Way #1: annoy him with the 5 W's

Vlad: Danni, have you seen my pen?

Danni: what?

Vlad: Have you seen my pen?

Danni: what?

Vlad: Have you seen my pen??

Danni: Your what?

Vlad: MY PEN!

Danni: WHAT?

Vlad: MY

Danni: …

Vlad: PEN!

Danni: Who's pen?

Vlad: MINE!

Danni: Your what?

Vlad: MY PEN!

Danni: …

Vlad: SO?

Danni: So what?

Vlad: Have you seen it?

Danni: Have I seen what?

Vlad: MY PEN!!

Danni: Ohhh… what about it?

Vlad: Have-you-seen-it?!

Danni: When?

Vlad: lately,

Danni: What?

Vlad: UHHHHHHHHHHH…… I so don't have time for this!

Danni: Time for what?

Vlad: Danni, do you know where it is?

Danni: WHERE?

Vlad: I don't know!

Danni: Know what?

Vlad: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Danni: AH what?

Vlad: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Danni: AH- Y?

Vlad: Danni, I'm going to ask you one last time. Do- you- know- where- it- is??

Danni: Why?

Vlad: Because I want to write in my diary.

Danni: YOU have a diary?

Vlad: Yes

Danni: Why?

Vlad: Because I want to write in it!

Danni: When?

Vlad: **NOW!!**

Danni: Ohhhhhhhh… you might be wanting this then (Danni holds up Vlad's extremely expensive custom made pen)

Vlad: **WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS??**

Danni: What?

**The end. So what did you think of way #1? If you guys have ANY suggestions for later chapters I am completely welcome, I'd love to write them, remember people, I see all of you reading these very words right now are getting the read concept, now just remember the second part. REVIEW!**


	2. way 2 through 4

My new story ideas

**And before we start I want to give a special thanks to my 5 reviewers.**

**Catalyst of the soul: I know, but it is SO much easier to do it this way, I'll try to type it normally, eventually. Thanks for reviewing, hope you like the story so far. **

**Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: Good suggestions, I'll keep them in mind. Thanks for reviewing, hope you like the story so far.**

**Jessica01: Thanks for the tip, and reviewing, hope you like the story so far.**

**Yuul: Thanks for the compliment and reviewing, hope you like the story so far. **

**Thriefty: Good ideas, I'll make sure to fit them in somewhere. Thanks for reviewing, hope you like the story so far.**

Way # 2: Keep telling him, "I know your secret"

Danni: Vlad?

Vlad: Er… what is it now Danni?

Danni: I know your secret.

Vlad: _What _secret?

Danni: You know.

Vlad: No, I _don't _know Danni.

Danni: There's no denying it, I know what it is.

Vlad: I don't know what you're talking about.

Danni: I have proof, and I will tell the whole world.

Vlad:I have no secret.

Danni: Yes you do, admit it, and I know it.

Vlad: Oh, yeah, then what is it?

Danni: The one in your diary on page 8.

Vlad: (_flinches)_ You mean?

Danni: Yes.

Vlad: You mean you know I'm a bed wetter?

Danni: Actually, I was just going to say you were a fruit loop, but this will work even better (reveals a camera hidden underneath her arm.)

Vlad: #!#!

Danni pasted the video on youtube where it got 1 000 000 hits. It was called; the frootloop reveals his loopy secret.

Way # 3: Replace his shampoo with swamp water.

(In the shower)

Vlad: Ahhhh… nothing like a nice warm hot shower to relax your muscles.

(Vlad reaches for swamp water in shampoo bottle.)

_10 minutes later._

Vlad: DANNI!!

Danni: Yes daddy?

Vlad: Did you do this? (Vlad points to his head which is now green with clumps of dirt scattered throughout it and smells like burning garbage.)

Danni: No.

Vlad: THEN WHO DID?!

Danni: You did, you put it in your hair.

Vlad: I'm supposed to go to a huge meeting today, how will I go like this?

Danni: Well, you walk out the door…

Vlad: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Danni: Well I know a really good hairstylist.

Way # 4: Dress up as the "hairstylist"

Danni: (In costume) Hello Mr. Masters I am D, and I will be of your service today.

Vlad: Good, can you get the green out of my hair?

Danni: Oh… Definitely.

_1 hour later._

Danni: All finished, we say you should not open your eyes for at least 30 seconds after the appointment, so you can open your eyes in exactly 30 seconds. (Positions Vlad in front of a mirror and then runs out.)

Vlad: I've never heard of that before are you sure D? …… D? Well I guess it's been about 30 seconds now. (Opens eyes, and looks into mirror, hair is in ponytails and dyed a shade of bright pink.)

Vlad: **DANNNIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!**

**So what did you guys think? I don't think it's as good as the first one, I tried to make it a good deal longer, but just to make it even longer for you guys, here's a little story for your enjoyment. There was a story called Danni's guide to annoy Vlad, and then you clicked on it and read it. And at the bottom of the page there was this little button on that story that said review, and ya did! **


	3. Intermission REVIEW!

**Skating Queen: Thanks for the compliment, glad you like the fic so far, keep reviewing!**

**TPcrazy: Thanks, Glad you like the fic; I'll try and type normally from now on. Keep reviewing!**

**This chapter is just a little intermission to say… I NEED MORE IDEAS! Come on, anybody? I've gotten 65 hits and yet I've only gotten 8 REVIEWS! I'm sure some of you have ideas, I can't update another chapter if there isn't another chapter because of lack of ideas, so HURRY UP! Sorry if that sounds a bit pushy, but REVIEW!**


	4. Way 5 plus BONUS footage

**Catalyst of the Soul: Now officially 154 hits and 11 reviews. Haha, funny ideas, I might do that as sequel, Glad you like the fic, keep reviewing.**

**xXAnimeKittenXx: Thank you, hope you like the fic, keep reviewing.**

**Note I promise this will be the last chapter in the : format, it will be normal from the next chapter on, now on with the fic. **

Way # 5: Convince him Maddie is dead.

Danni: Vlad, I'm so sorry about the news.

Vlad: _What _news? (Drinking a cup of coffee)

Danni: You know, the news about Maddie being dead.

Vlad: **WHAT!! **(Spits coffee out over his clothes.)

Danni: Oh, you didn't know? It was all in the newspapers and everything, she got in a lab accident and didn't survive, she didn't even become a ghost.

Vlad: **WHHHHHYYYYYYYY??**

Danni: I guess it was just her time to go.

(Phone is ringing in background and nobody answers, message starts playing.)

Maddie: (on other end of phone.) Hey Vlad, me and Jack are going on a cruise to talk about how much we _love _each other, so we're sending Danny to stay at your place. Bye.

Vlad: **DANNI!!**

Danni: hmm... my mistake.

Way # 5.5: Danny joins the team.

(Knock on the door)

Vlad: (Opens the door) JACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH … Maddie?

Jack: Hey V-man, didn't you get that message? It is okay if Danny stays at your place?

Vlad: …

Jack: GREAT! I new you'd understand, well, gotta go! (drives off in the Fenton R.V with Danny on Vlad's front steps.)

Vlad: Oh great, double the trouble!

Danni: C'mon in cuz, we need all the time we got to come up with more ways to torture Vlad.

Danny: AWESOME! (The two teens head up the steps)

Vlad: **WHY DO YOU HATE ME??**


	5. The diary

**CataylstOfTheSoul: MWAHAHAHA! Glad you like the fic, keep reviewing.**

**Skating queen: glad you like the fic, keep reviewing. **

**Mine-Minnie: Great idea, glad you like the fic, keep reviewing.**

**PhantomGirl12: Glad you like the fic, sorry this took so long, keep reviewing.**

**Tie-dyed Trickster: You're not the only one, I don't understand them either. Thank you for all of the great ideas, I'll be sure to use them somewhere in the stories. Glad you like the fic, keep reviewing.**

**Jessica01: Sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy, keep reviewing. **

**Sorry this took so long everybody, hope you enjoy!!**

**Vlad's P.O.V**

"Stupid, rotten, idiotic, good for nothing kids," I shouted, rage bursting from within my veins. Why the heck did they have to choose me anyway? There ought to be 'bout 100 000 000 000 people in the world. Was there some specific law that said they had to choose me? Who did they think they were anyway? Barging in on me as if I had room for them to stay? Okay, so maybe I owned the biggest mansion in the history of earth, but it was still no excuse for them. Maybe I could murderer them in their sleep… Oh no get a hold of yourself Vlad!! What would Maddie think?! If they don't stop this immediately, I'll make sure to get my revenge. Danny and Danni want to annoy me? 3 can play at that game. The next time they come within a mile of me, I swear I will invent a torture so evil and terrible, they'll be begging for mercy! Nobody messes with Vlad Masters. "Oh Vlad," a voice rang from upstairs. I couldn't help but let a growl escape from my lips, this better be good!

**Danni's P.O.V**

It had been about an hour since me and my cuz had arrived in my bedroom. But believe it or not, as hard as we may try, we couldn't think of any other ideas too annoy Vlad. "Tick, tock, tick tock." Tang the clock, as if robbing it in my face that we had still didn't have any ideas as what we could do. All of the sudden, Danny's laughter interrupted my thoughts. Probably one so loud Japan was covering their ears. "What's so funny!?" I asked, annoyed. Danny's laugh just boomed throughout the entire house even louder. I set my eye on him, noticing he was clutching an average sized book in the palm of her hand. Taking a closer look, I noticed the title plastered on the front. Vlad's diary, oh, this was RICH!

**Danny's P.O.V**

I was plenty bored; we still had no plans for Vlad. So I decided to ransack his stuff to see if I could find anything. Let's see, cloths, important files… hm… this could come in handy later, I thought hiding it underneath my bed. Now back to work. Diary… wait, **DIARY?!** Haha, it was payback time. I began randomly flipping through pages searching for any secrets held within. Wait… Vlad… was a **BEDWETTER!? **I couldn't control myself anymore. My laughter erupted throughout the house. What other secrets could be hidden within this bundle of joy? This was too perfect! I ran to the computer and switched it on, and began typing the contents of the diary, and then posted it on youtube. "Oh, Vlad." My voice sang innocently.

**Vlad's P.O.V**

I was almost afraid to walk into that room. Who knew what those two little rascals had done now? I cautiously entered the room. "#&#!

**Danny's P.O.V**

Was it just me? Or did Vlad just say every cuss word known to man in the past half a few seconds. Yes! He was annoyed, my job is done.

**Vlad's P.O.V **

That's it Daniel, you hear me?! It was time for my revenge. Boy was Daniel ever going to regret messing with Vlad Masters.

"Hahaha!!" I cackled madly. It was brilliant. When Danny looked in my diary today, was he in for it.

**Danny's P.O.V**

I searched once again for what may now be my most favorite thing in this world, Vlad's diary. I quickly started his most recent entry, and halfway through the first line, slammed the book shut. I think I needed to vomit. Vlad was… **GAY??**

**Note: I do not in any way believe in slash, meaning this is definitely not a slash fic. (Not that there is anything wrong with people that way) Vlad was merely getting back at Danny for his constant schemes, hope you liked. The sooner you review the sooner I will update. I will try to update every two weeks, and for every review I get I will take a day off. I'll review tomorrow, if you are kind enough to submit a comment. Thank you. **


	6. Chapter 6

t**Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: I usually put my reviewers ideas in my stories, that's why I ask for them. I'm glad you liked being a part of it. I don't get that a lot. I'm sorry this took so long. R & R!**

**Mini-Minnie: Lol. Glad you like! R & R!**

**Jessica01: True. Hope you like. R & R! **

**Skating Queen: LOL, glad you like! R & R!**

**Sorry this took so long everybody, I'd taken a LONG break from going on the computer because I was so addicted, and couldn't review before. But now I'm back. Hope you all like! And remember, R & R! When I'm finished the story, I'll dedicate a story for the person who most commonly reviewed this story. So make sure to review! **

Way # 6: Make loud and unusual noises in the middle of the night.

Ah, sweet, sweet revenge. Let's just see how Danny countered that for size. There was no way he would be planning ANYTHING after my payback. Right? Oh, well, it wasn't my problem. I yawned as my eyelids started to close themselves. Time for some nice, refreshing, peaceful sleep.

**BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!**

I jerked upright free from my wonderful dream about Maddie, where was that terrible noise coming from. Whoever was making that noise was sure to be destroyed as soon as I got my hads on them, and so I got out of bed, and marched towards Danny's room. Wasn't the answer obvious?

Way # 7: With two people. One makes noise and then pretends innocent when Vlad comes, while the 2nd person continues to make that noise.

**BAAA **-step-**AAAAAAAA **-step-**AAAAAAAA **-step-**NNNNNNNNN**-step-**NNNNNNNNNNNG**-step-**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! **The irittating noise continued to sing that annoying tune. That was it! I transformed into my alter ego and flew towards Danny's room. Breaking his door open in the process. Suprisingly, their lay Danny asleep but the voice continued to endure. Danni, of course it all made sense. I closed the door and flew towards the opposite end of the hall, Danni's room. She too, was asleep, but the voice continued to go on. I don't know how they managed to do it, but I knew it must be them making the noise. They were dead! If only I had some proof.

(If you couldn't tell, Danny was shouting it at first, but then when Vlad entered his room Danni continued on, then vice- versa. This was what I was trying to say was way # 7)

Way #8: Reprogram his clock to go off at 3 am.

zzzzzzzzzzzz... BBRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!! An annoying voice sounded in my ears, i swear, honestly, if that was those two annoying little squirts again, but no, it was my alarm clock! And it was ... 10 am?? I had to leave for an important buisness meeting in 2 minutes!

20 minutes later.

Their wasn't nearly enough time. (Breaks into sobs). I was ruined. (In steps Danni) "Vlad," she stammerd grodgingly "What are you doing awake at 5 am?" **WHAT?** I questioned.

Way # 9: Replace all of his pants and underwear with Huggies diapers.

They were dead, DEAD, **DEAD! **They would be extremely lucky to see daylight tommorow because not only would they not live another day in this house, but they would not live another day, PERIOD! I shouted aloud, as I searched my drawers for a pair of buisness pants and with my only results being a jumbo bag of 100 huggies diapers. There wasn't even any underwear for crying out loud.

Later that day...

And that, my people, is why I have decided all people, even adults, and toddlers should continue to go to school I announced. Standing on stage in front of 1000 people wearing nothing but a huggies diaper and a bib.

**Did you like? Did you not like? Tell me in a review! Remember, I'll dedicate a new story or chapter based on their ideas for the person who most commonly reviews this story! What are you waiting for, hurry up and review!!**


	7. Chapter 7

Okay everbody, here's the thing. I like this story but the thing is, I've gotten over 1000 hits and only 28 reviewers for the first 6 chapters. (Which is like 4 or 5 reviewers per chapter.) I'd like to see this fic get some more reviews, so I was thinking of rewriting it, this time with all the chapters in the proper format and everything, make sure the writing is better, and than publish that. So, what do ya think? PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts, flames are not welcome, but consturctive criticism is. (And when I say review, I mean all of you. C'mon, you hitted this story, might as well review it, it'll only take about half a minute.) Thanks, oh, by the way, I'm going to make a new fic that I think you guys might enjoy, make sure to check it out. It's called, the DP trivia challenge. (I've seen somebody do something along the lines of this kind of fic before, but I'm not sure who it was or what show it was for.) I'm definetly not copying anything but I'm using this idea. So if there's anybody that has complaints to that kind of fic, and thinks mine is too similar to there's, I'll delete it quickly.

So... the point of the thing is, the first 20 reviewers for the first chapter get to participate in the challenge. Each couple of days after that there is an update with a whole bunch of DP trivia questions you have to answer in a review. The person who got the most answers wrong is eliminated, and if there is a tie for most answers wrong, well, you'll just have to wait and see to find out. (If that ever happens.) Another copy of the rules will be posted inside, so make sure to look. And remember, 20 people have to review untill it starts. If you are one of the 20, and you don't review between the time it took me to post 1 chapter and the next, you'll automatically be eliminated, so make sure you keep the story on your story alerts!

Hm... what praytell will the winner recieve? A job well done that's what. LOL, jk.

the winner will recieve a sneak peak at what's going to happen next, in one of my stories, of their choosing!

So hurry up and review that, you don't want to miss being in the top 20.

For this chapter of this story, you can also review. Tell me

a) if you want this story redone or not.

and/or

b) If you have any questions about the DP trivia challenge.

Till then,


	8. chapter 8

**Hey guys! This took so long, (how long was it again?) I'm so sorry. I recently moved into a new house and their is WAY too much to do, not to mention the outrageous heaps of homework I've been getting from school lately, which I really should be working on ... Anyways, I could have updated my stories faster, but I have writers block for so many, I know what's going to happen, but I don't know how to word it, if i try, my writing always ends up sounding crappy. - and as for the DP trivia challenge- I have a lot of ideas for it, It's just, with so many contestants quitting, I'm not as inspired as I was before. I also don't want to have to mark all your answers, it takes way too long and is simply way too much work. I want to finish one story at a time, and I decided I might as well finish up this one first, because although it doesn't have the most reviews, it's the one I have the least writers block for. Again, sorry for the long wait. Updates will not be frequent, but will definitely not be as long as the months they have roamed since I have last updated, and just because I feel sorry for how long this took, an extra long chapter awaits. Also, forgive me for any spelling mistakes this chapter might have, It wasn't checked by a beta (nor did I check over it too much myself) I didn't have the time, and wanted to get it up as soon as possible. I know I've probably lost a lot of you- but I hope I kept as much as possible. I appreciate all of your reviews, did I mention, the first two people to review every chapter I post will get a sneak peak for this story- or another one of their choice. What are you waiting for, better hurry up and review!**

Way # 10. Steal his cell phone,

Maybe, if i could get Danny's friends Sam and Tucker on my side - _wait, _no, they'd never help me. They'd just join Danny, and that wouldn't make things any easier. Or Perhaps I could convince Maddie and Jack, after all, how could that big clumsy oaf say know, he _adores _me, and Maddie should probably take Jack's side - Oh, that was right, they were out of town. Wasn't that the whole reason they had left Danny to stay with me?

Before I had thought anything more of it, a rumble came from the sky. Not long after it had erupted into a valley of tears. It was just my luck to be stuck in the middle of a giant thunder storm.

Of course I could always just fly home, but why do that when I could simply call on my ghostly minions, and enjoy my journey home in comfort? Inflicting my misery onto others was what I did best. I flipped my cell phone out of my pocket to... **WHERE THE HECK WAS MY CELL-PHONE?** Could I not have one moments peace? I sighed, walking the west of the way home, my suit dripping wet from the cold, misery weather. The entire time was spent plotting what exact torture would be worthy of inflicting on poor Daniel that afternoon.

Way # 11. program his t.v to only play soap-operas.

By the time I got home, I was soaked to the core. I was so busy thinking of ways to kill _them_ I had completely forgotten my power of flight. I decided to leave them alone for know, my plan would only work if it were to be done at night. Let's just say it involved the sewer, mutant rats, and a VERY long straw. I sat down on the couch (didn't matter if it got wet, I could always buy a new one later) and settled down to watch some television.

The second I did, I flipped the t.v on the the channel I knew I would never be bored watching. The sports channel. Didn't matter which sport it was. It was all MAN. Speaking about that, I was definitely a manly, it was only a wonder to me how Maddie was able to resist my muscular figure. _Sigh. _To my shock, instead of the usual baseball, basketball, football, hockey, _anything, _that you would think to come on, the channel immediately changed to a new station.

On too the screen came a man and a woman, obviously conversing, discussing _feelings, _most definitely not my type of show. I figured the station must have simply had a glitch, so i flipped to another. And another, and another. **WHAT THE HECK WAS WRONG WITH THIS T.V? **

Way # 12. Give his ghostly minions 'the day off'.

_Sigh. _This must have been the work of Daniel. Little did he know what he had coming for him tonight. It would all be worth it. I leaned over to my right to grab the cordless phone left sitting on the table, and dialed the number of Skulker. It was on speed dial, I called him often.

"Hello?" Came the voice from the other line that I recognized as Skulker's.

"Skulker, this is urgent. My television refuses to play anything but soap-operas. I need you to come fix it-now," I announced through a bit of force. After all, this _was _urgent, and he _was _to do whatever I said.

"No can-do boss." Rang the voice from the other line. "I'm busy, besides you gave me the day off, remember?"

**"I DID WHAT?" **My voice thundered. "**SKULKER, GET YOUR BUT DOWN HERE, RIGHT NOW!"**

"....- beep. beep. beep. beep. beep. beep."

"? Skulker, are you-beeping?"

"beep. beep. beep."

"**DID YOU HANG UP ON ME!" **I questioned with anger, if he had left I swear I ...

Way # 13 (when he tries to kill you) tell him you love him.

Finally, It was night, time to reveal my master plan. In my room I filled a giant sack with several horrendous items such as a chainsaw, hammer, nails, and drill, tied it up, and made my way toward Daniels room.

Tiptoeing as to not wake them up, I peeked through the cracks of the door to say if they were truly asleep. _Perfect. _I thought, slowly creaking the door open.

Where was Daniel? I asked- the teenager seeming to be nowhere in sight. He was here just a minute ag-

"HELLO UNCLE VLAD!" Screamed the voice from an extremely pepped up child. What was he doing _awake? _I thought, soon announcing my thoughts alive.

"I live here, no duh! Or at least until my parents get back," he replied, and was right. I could not prove him guilty unless I proved myself guilty as well, I had no proof he had been asleep to show.

"Then get to bed!" I found myself declaring to Daniel's face.

"Okay uncle Vlad, but I just want to tell you one more thing."

"**WHAT?!?!?!**"

"I love you uncle Vlad!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" I began, taking one of the many heart wrenching weapons from my sac. I attempted to swipe him with it. Only to find Danny turning intangible, followed by the sound of a clicking noise.

_Video recorded, _announced a small voice. Out popped Danni, holding a minescule camera in her hands with footage of everything that had happened in the past few minutes.

"Right, because I'm so not going to show this to Kids abuse help line," (not sure if that's real or not, just sounds familiar. It's supposed to be a company that helps kids whose guardians abuse them, take them away from that guardian, and put them in a suitable home.) "Bye." Danny announced flying out of the room momentarily after saying those words.

"**DANNI!!!!!!!!!**"

# 13.5 - Vlad get arrested!

"Mr. Vlad, please answer some questions with us so we can determine what can be a suitable punishment."

"But I did nothing! Absolutely nothing!" Vlad cried out, tears ready to stream down his face.

"We have proof. The more you deny it, the stronger your punishment will be once you finally tell the truth."

"Nothing!" Vlad announced again.

" Operative O, report to interrogating room immediately, Vlad is ready to take on faze one of torture methods."

In stepped a member of the guys In white to the secluded room.

_Oh, crap._

**What did you guys think? Like it? Not like it? Tell me in a review! And remember, if you dislike my story, constructive criticism not flames. Noone said you HAD to review. Oh, and to any Harry Potter or Twilight fans out there reading my story, make sure to vote on my poll, which is better; twilight- or Harry Potter?**


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